School Update

I haven't really told many people at all about school and I always try and change the subject before they ask about it.

Earlier in the semester, I thought that it was in my best interest to take a semester off of school. This was extremely hard for me to do because I know how important getting a college education is. I made this choice after much discussion with my parents who supported me in this decision.

One of the biggest reasons why I took the semester off is to get my PTSD more under control. School is a huge stress for me and when I am stressed out, my PTSD, depression, and anxiety flares up. I get stressed out in every single aspect of school, (buying books, going to class, making a schedule, getting to school, being on campus, class, etc.) Because of this, my grades had suffered. It was so hard for me to focus on school when everything else was taking over my life. My first semester of college I was severely depressed. My second semester of college I was depressed and that was when I was diagnosed with PTSD. The following two semesters were stressful and we were trying to figure out the right medication to help me. I always did very well in school, but all of that changed when I started college.

The other reason why I took off the semester is because I have already passed up my third major. For 3 semesters I went for nursing. Then I decided nursing wasn't for me. The following semester I decided to go for teaching. That REALLY wasn't for me. And then I decided to go for communications and honestly, I don't think that I was ever really right for that either. Why waste my parents money on school when I'm not even sure what I want to do with my life?

I was afraid a lot of people would judge me for this. I was the college pusher for all of my friends. I got two people to go to college and get a degree! And I always told them how important it was to go to school, and here I am taking a semester off myself. What I really learned from this is that I don't know people's lives and I shouldn't be the ones pushing others to go to college. Yes, education is fantastic and will help you out in the future, however, who knows what is really going on in their life that could effect this. I mean, I didn't really want to tell people I had PTSD, depression, and anxiety, I was ashamed for so long. A lot of people didn't know until almost a year after. Who am I to judge them?