friendships

It's hard for me to believe that we live in the year 2012 and some people still don't accept people with a mental illness. With mental illnesses being so common now, 1 in 4 adults, you would think that people would accept you and not think it's a big deal. I wish I was right.

A couple of weeks ago I broke off a long term friendship with someone. My therapist and I talked for months about how the friendship was unhealthy and I needed to get out of it, but something kept me holding on. I didn't want to let go. The night before my birthday though, that all changed. I received a text message from this person stating that because I had so "many mental problems, you have become unpleasant to talk to." Also that "our entire friendship had become based around all of my mental problems." Now, this post isn't meaning to talk trash onto someone, that's why I have chosen to leave the name and gender of this person out. All I am saying is that it's sad that people can't accept you for who you are.

I thought it would be hard to end the friendship, but after that text, there was no going back. I had to end it and I did. At first I didn't know how I was suppose to feel. To tell you the truth, our friendship had started to go downhill a year prior. I didn't know if I was suppose to be upset, pissed, mad, sad, happy, or what. I had never been judged before because of my mental illness, this was a first. I asked my best friend for advice and she was as shocked as I was that someone would actually say that. I hid it from my parents for a few days. I told my sister about it and I asked her how she thought I should feel. I talked to the people I work with, and even a really close friend who is an elementary counselor. There's no book saying how you are suppose to feel after something like this happens. In the end, I am damn proud of myself for not working things out. I am not sad, pissed, mad, upset or any of that. I just feel sorry that this person can't accept people for who they are.

I will NOT allow another person to judge me on who I am. Therefore, I am damn proud of myself for ending that friendship. It's not my loss... it's more of a gain. Without them, I can be more surrounded by people who love and support me. I don't need people in my life to bring me down.