I know its been awhile since I have posted. I will get better at it! The mono really got to me and is throwing off my sleep still. And now I feel really sick. I took off tomorroe morning and im assuming ill be told I have the flu. I shivered for 2.5 hours tonight not able to get warm. Now I am hot and sweaty. I have every symptom of the flu. As I lay here in my living room I know that thinking about tomorrows doctors appt will only keep me up, and its probably the reason I am still up now.
Every since ian died, I have been super catious about the flu. I use to wait days before I would go to the doctors. Now, ill be going to the doctors within 17 hours of it really hitting me. I know it will be fine and I will be fine....but the fact that ian died from this just sits in the back of my head. Im in so much pain from my muscle aches, I cant imagine how it was for him, almost 7 months old. I know I shouldnt think like that, but I cant help it. And its not like I try and think about it either. I want to forget those days surrounding his death and everything that has to do with it.
So here I am on the couch, just repeating it myself that I will be fine and get the meds tomorrow. I will be fine. I know I will.
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