My calling?

It's been really hard for me to decide what I want to do with my life. For so long, I wanted to be a nurse. It was probably like that for 5-7 years. I knew that's what I wanted to do. But when I started taking the classes in college, I realized that I wasn't really liking the medical classes. So many people tell you throughout life what they think you should be when you grow up. I started thinking to myself that since so many people told me I should be a nurse, that's what I needed to do. I was letting other people make the decision for me. Truth is, I never really saw myself as a nurse. I never really saw myself wearing scrubs, working 12 hour shifts, giving medication and doing all of that stuff. Once I as realizing that I didn't see myself as a nurse, I started really second guessing myself. Someone told me I should do PR for a non profit organization, and I was like YES! this is what I am going to do with my life. Another person told me I would be a great teacher.. YES I would be a PERFECT teacher. And then someone would say, no I think you should stay as a nurse, and BOOM I wanted to be a nurse again! Within the past week, I was really realizing that when people tell me what they think I should do, I feel like I need to actually do that. It shouldn't be like that, I should choose what I want to do, what I want to do for work for the next 40 years.

I'm so lost in this journey. But I think that Ian and God are really trying to push me in the right direction. I'm not exactly sure what it is quite yet. I think I can truly see myself giving speeches on behalf of Families Fighting Flu or becoming a part of Ian's Rainbow Flu Foundation and helping it become a huge organization. I'm really starting to think that doing this is my true calling. But then it's like, do I need to get a degree for this? What degree would I need to get? Can I truly just go around and give speeches and get paid good money doing it?
Would I love it? Yes
Would it be rewarding? Yes
Could I spend the next 40 years doing it? Yes

But is that what God is pushing me towards? Or is he pushing me in somewhat of that direction? Does he want me to become a grief counselor? Should I work in the school?

It's so difficult to find this path, and I know that a lot of people go through this, but this is such a huge decision. I have faith that God will lead me in the right direction and that him and Ian will help me along the way. I just wish the answer was more obvious. But if it were obvious, life would be too easy.